Flirty v. Dirty

It's my morning custom to cleanse my head from the day before and a ritualistic beginning to my new day. Running's always been my daily inspiration, my therapy, my happy place, my solitude, my weight watcher, my whatever I need it to be. No music is needed, I'm in my head hearing only my feet and seeing only my thoughts and the trees. "Mumble... mumble ____  your pussy," he yelled whizzing by on his bike, rudely interrupting my zen run. Yes, my ZEN run. Some wimpy #@hole on a bike had the audacity to interrupt my reverie and objectify me. Out loud. How dare he.

My first thought, after I impulsively flipped him off without breaking stride and without looking back, was, "Did I ask for this?" When guys have yelled lewd comments in the past, as stereotypical as it sounds, I wondered if it was my fault. So, you be the judge (I've already judged me, as I'm always apt to do). I have on a dark pink crew-neck Nike short sleeve workout tee and the ubiquitous Nike shorts in black with white stripes. I do not have on my Athleta bra, which is my most supportive, but I do have on a very supportive workout bra. I ban the bounce because I have a C/D chest, that would draw attention if bouncing, so I don't let it. And black shoes and white socks. Nothing spectacular, nothing worth scrutiny. I'm just jogging.

If bike-boy (I didn't see him, but he's not what I think of as a man) had simply thought the words in his head, he could have enjoyed his "fantasy" of whatever he was thinking of doing to my private parts, and I could have continued to enjoy my morning. I don't care what men or women do in their heads. It's our right and privilege to have a fantasy world. Not only can we have them, but we are expected to. Just ask Sports Illustrated or Kraft... without our fantasy world, I'm not so sure the Zesty Guy would have as many women swooning over him. Kraft took objectification and twisted it on his head: the Zesty Guy is laughing with us. We watch his commercials and giggle and swoon. There's nothing crude and nobody's using sleazy words to describe him, we're all playing along. Nicely. The issue arises when we cross that fine line between flirty and dirty.

But where is the line between flirty and dirty? My gut tells me. But, it's not always so clear. If bike-boy had yelled out "Hey beautiful" would I have been offended? Probably not. But what if he had yelled out, "Nice legs." My legs were showing, aren't too sexual, and the language isn't tawdry. Flirty or dirty? Simple language, but he's yelling at me from his bike while I'm running. Has he crossed a line? And if he'd said, "Nice breasts" or "Nice rack" I'd be offended, but what if I'd just gotten a boob job? Perhaps flirty and dirty are subjective not only from the yeller's standpoint, but also from the view of who's being yelled at. But I don't like strangers yelling at me. Period.

Does the flirty v. dirty line move as we age? Chloe, at 17, would be just as shocked by bike-boy's words. The line between flirty and dirty comes from parental and family influence and may waver back and forth at stages in our lives, but I imagine the point where each of us says "ick" remains fixed. And when it's crossed, we hurt and question... and maybe even blog about it.

So, back to my run... what's the point of yelling filthy comments to women? He wasn't trying to impress friends, à la the construction worker scenario. He obviously wasn't trying to pick me up. Did it make him feel better about something? I don't have an answer, but if you do, please let me know. I'm trying to understand, so I can react appropriately next time. My running / biking path is popular and I'm not changing my route because of 1 jerk, so I'm sure to encounter him again.  I'd like to learn how to deal with misogynistic jerks, and I should teach my daughter too. I believe she grasps her central point of "ick" and flirty v. dirty. Now she needs to master dealing with #@ holes without questioning herself and without flipping him off, because I don't ever want her to do the former and she's too clever to need to do the latter.

Thanks for reading my rant. I'd love your opinions and advice and to know how you react when in a similar situation. xo ~Kim

Internet Loves Lately

Hi there, it's Kim and it's my turn this week for my Internet Loves Lately. Speaking of loves, it's my anniversary this weekend! An amazing 23 years ago, hubbie and I walked down that aisle to say, "I do" and although we have some wear and tear on us, we are still celebrating and will spend this weekend reminiscing, romancing, and running (our favorite thing to do together). That is, if he's feeling up to it - an injury has kept him on the sidelines for a few months, but here's hoping! And it's also the end of summer with Labor Day upon us. I'm definitely not celebrating the end of lazy days, although I do love a good schedule to make me feel productive and nothing gets me on schedule like kids in school. But this week's Internet Loves are all about what reminds me of summer as it slowly and stickily winds down.

What are you not quite ready to say good-bye to this summer?

{1} Ice Cream Sundae Pops Ice cream IS summer! Are these not the bomb? The absolute cherry on top? Better than any ice cream truck treat, but would have the kids running in from wherever they are!

{2} Purse So I have a purse and shoe fetish. And this mint green color makes me think of summer because of its adorable pastel shade. But there is nothing cutesy about it, it's pure lady and all glamour, especially since it's handmade, customizable, and from Paris by La Contrie. Bring on the heat.

{3} Surfboard Obviously the beach is the ultimate summer get-away, but if it's not in the cards, how about propping up a sparkly surfboard in a corner? This sparkly DIY project could take me away for few hours. Sort of. It would definitely get me in the beach party vibe every time I looked at it!

{4} Confetti Balloons Who doesn't love a balloon... a giant balloon? Doesn't it just make you think of little kids running around, or big ones smiling and skipping and having an outdoor party? That sounds like a summery good time to me, although if you want to hand me a giant confetti-filled balloon anytime of the year, I'll probably definitely take it!

{5} Cocktail Pops One or two or three bites of these say, "It's 5 o'clock somewhere!" And they'll cool you off. Have I mentioned how hot it is here?

Easiest Salad Recipe Ever

I am a foodie.

I know this sounds absolutely crazy, but if I had the option to own a super fancy purse or go out to eat for the next month, then I would probably choose to go out to eat. Call me insane, ‘cause I know it’s true.

However, I used to only really eat food that tasted good (i.e., unhealthy food). But wait, you say. Why does unhealthy food have to be the only food that tastes good? Well, you’re right. I used to think that unhealthy food was the only thing that actually tasted good. But guess what? I was wrong. Very wrong.

I have decided to go on a heathy streak and my Mom is SO happy... but we’ll see how long it actually lasts. This past week, I went to my Aunt and Uncle’s house and my Aunt and I made a her salad recipe together. This was no ordinary salad with tons of lettuce and croutons and all that "junk". It was a surprisingly delicious salad. Like I went out yesterday to the grocery store - by myself I might add - to buy all the ingredients.

This salad is the perfect mix of all things healthy, but it tastes like it could be a guilty pleasure. We’ll call it the “(not so) guilty pleasure salad.” That has a nice ring to it. ;)

But you can also call it the easiest salad recipe ever because not only does it taste great, but it’s SIMPLE to make! All you do is chop and dump.

Directions:

1. Chop cherry tomatoes, red and/or yellow peppers, and cucumbers. 2. Sprinkle some black olives and feta cheese on top. 3. Splash some olive oil and you’re donezo.

It’s that easy!

If you make this salad, be sure to tweet us or instagram us a picture! We promise you’ll love it!

xox, Chloe